Monday, October 11, 2010

Wasting Time On the Internets

I think Twitter is pretty stupid. Among the dumbest websites ever dreamed up since Al Gore invented the internet. But it is not without its moments. Some people are really funny, and being limited to 140 characters can be a blessing sometimes. I started following Latina porn chick Kristina Rose ( after someone I follow re-tweeted something she posted. I've been amused by her ever since. I wouldn't say I "know" Kristina Rose, but because of Twitter, I do know the following things about her: she does porn, she smokes weed, she likes both rap music and indie, she idolizes Bob Saget,  loves Jersey Shore, and she likes Jewish guys.

Though she does post some cute pics (and the occasional naked one), believe me when I say that I follow her on Twitter for the jokes. Here are some random funny tweets from Miss Rose I found:

"As a stoner, I think you only need 3 channels on TV to keep u happy: CNN, The History (AKA Hitler) Channel and Comedy Central."

"Eeew. The 18th my ASS! You lied! What kind of aunt lies to you about her date of arrival?!? I'll tell u... Aunt Flo. She's such a bitch"

"Apparently I'm now receiving High Times Magazine. This may come as a shock to you but, I've never subscribed to it. Huumm? They know!"

"To everyone writing to me in Spanish. I can't understand what your saying. I don't know Spanish"
"I think my iPod has a crush on me"

"So excited! My car insurance is going down like me at a blow bang! Wooo Hooo! [Look ma! No handz!!!] ;P"

"She's not spanish. She's dumb."

"Questions you don't want your underaged sister asking u: "Why do all these guys keep asking to take pics with u." I am OFF duty today."

"I really gotta point out that a lot of you ladies have absolutely NO GAME. lol. Forreal. Haa, haa. Sounding like a hobo beggin' n shit. lolz"

"The only time I do tricks is for money and even then I only do what I feel like. Stop telling me what to do. I do what I want!"

"Dear Los Angeles Police Dept. I hate you and you're ugly."

"Hey guy, listen here... It's not my fault you're a total Lame-O-sexual. Piss off."

"There are advantages to being short. Most men are automatically attracted to you when your short. It's cute. You're all like re-re's for us."

"I don't take sugar in my coffee. Just cream. Speaking of.. I hear you're gunna stick your dick in my butt soon. Excited much? ;P"

"One more scene left. The last part! I'm going to be judged on how well I fuck @jamesdeen. I'm not worried. I get paid the same either way ;)"
"I'm submissive and I like ice cream :)"

"You people are wack. Your YouTube video suggestions were lame. I expected more from my people. I really did. Big letdown :/"

"Finished fucking myself. My mind is filthy, just whore•issssh. Now i'mma make lunch!"

"Yum. 7-11 coffee :) And I ate bacon for breakfast. I'm as happy as Homer in a donut shop. :)"

"I feel better now....I think. I'm pretty sure I fucked the "bitch" out of myself. I'm pretty sure... TBC..."

"I'm not feeling "down" weirdos. I just needed food. I was hungry. :) And now that I've eaten my weight in McDonalds I'm happy again."

"A lot of my porn girl friends are always on the radio. How do I get in on that? They're always having so much fun. I wanna hang out too!"

"We're taking off. Zoooooom  See ya soon L.A. I only missed you a tiny bit cuz you're a bunch of assholes.  XO K.Rose"

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