Thursday, February 3, 2005

Fondue Is Not a Food

So as I posted earlier in my "unemployment" rant, I had a freelance writing gig today. The guy is a rabbi from Cuba, but he lives in America now. We have scheduled and re-scheduled this interview a number of times, and now it was set for 3:00. I called him to confirm the time and location at noon, and didn't hear back from him until after 5! Well, my family event (Mom's b-day) was at 6, and I couldn't miss that, so it looked like we'd have to re-schedule again. NOPE. He said he'd be available AFTER my dinner. Which brings me the title of this posting.

We ate at The Melting Pot. I guess this restaurant is a chain, so you may have one in your town. If you do, and you haven't been there...don't go. Melting Pot is a fondue restaurant. Only fondue. I didn't think one could make an entire restaurant based on dipping old bread into hot cheese, but I was wrong. Well, sort of. I won't go into too much detail about the menu; but I will say that whatever you order, you eat it as though it was fondue. There had to be something good on the menu, right? Look, I was hungry, and I didn't think bread would be enough of a meal. So, I ordered the "Seafood Trio." What I got was raw seafood (salmon, scallops, shrimp) that I had to "cook" fondue-style by sticking it with a long fork and heating it in some boiling liquid. What the fuck is that? I don't know? Just typing this is pissing me off! THAT PLACE REALLY SUCKED. Man....glad I got that off my chest. You're probably saying, "Dude, lighten up. It's just one dinner." I'd say, "Yeah, but I was really fucking hungry, and I had to do this interview right afterward. I wasn't able to eat for hours!" (Editor's note: a plate of raw seafood and a salad costs around $30 at Melting Pot. I cannot state how much of a rip-off this place is. If you like fondue -- good for you -- make it at home. I don't go to restaurants to cook my own fucking meal. That's what I'm paying YOU to do! I hated Prime Quarter for the same reason) Anyway it was my Mom's birthday, so we went where she wanted to go.

Back to the interview with the rabbi. The guy was pretty interesting. Parents left Europe to escape persecution -- America had immigration quotas on Jews -- went to Cuba instead -- came to America as a teenager. Nice guy. The only negative was that he kept testing me on my "Jewishness." For the record, I am a Jew. However, I haven't been to a synagogue for anything other than a wedding, funeral, or bar mitzvah in more than a decade. I don't belong to any Jewish organizations or clubs. I like the Jewish culture, but I just don't like organized religion. It causes too much division. Too much fighting. Too much killing. How do you explain that to a rabbi, let alone one that you just met. I did do okay on my Hebrew. I knew about 80% of the letters (he quizzed me, no shit).

So now my night is winding down. I plan on smoking a little bit (I am considering quitting but I don't know) and watching tonight's 'Without A Trace' which I TiVo'd. Good night's off to greener pastures now.

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